so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
this hospital has no fireball
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
