i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize