OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
