Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
