In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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