I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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