just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Randomize
