I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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