What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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