i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize