oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
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