i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
operation have a gay friend backfired
You're earring is so big in my mouth
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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