He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
