Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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