dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
