just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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