I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
