I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
