In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
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He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
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At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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