I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
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