Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Someone shattered a urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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