I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
