I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
