Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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