Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize