Cold hands, warm shart.
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
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I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
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You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.