i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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