Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
