i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
