If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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