That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
