Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
