Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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