and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
