I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
