Swine flu is the new snow day.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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