Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
