This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
