everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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