I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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