is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
