i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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