It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
