She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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