check it out our google latitudes are spooning
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
