She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
