u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
