She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
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for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
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And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
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