He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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