I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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