She announced her abortion via fbk
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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