You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
