GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
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