Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
