is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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