You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
