I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i will never coherently bang her
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
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