What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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