areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
too bad you live with your parents still
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
3 2 1 whiskey
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
