so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
