found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
