Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
