it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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